


A Story About Loving Her

by jhem211



Series: Badass Looking For Same [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 08:26:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18149477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhem211/pseuds/jhem211
Summary: The one where Lena Luthor gets the girl.





	A Story About Loving Her

This is unexpected. 

Not the way the sun angles into the windows and grazes Alex’s bare shoulder. Not the way her lashes flutter against her cheeks. Not even the way Lena’s heart constricts and expands in time with Alex’s breathing.

It’s just that Lena was certain she couldn’t make it here. Certain that when the final test came, she’d be found lacking. That when Alex said, _I have faith in you_ , it was a temporary truth.

Lena believes in numbers. In science. They’ve never failed her. And the evidence? The facts and circumstances of her life? They can’t be ignored. This story always ends the same. 

No one ever means it.

Not in the way that settles like bedrock. The way that allows for a life to be built. Not in the way that withstands the weight of dangerous last names or outlasts the doubts of Lena’s own heart.

But Lena hadn’t known people like Alex existed. People whose faith in another person could be found in their DNA. 

Lena didn’t know she could be loved so effortlessly. That love could be a fact instead of a struggle. Or that the shadowed parts of herself which leaned toward the legacy of her family could be loved in equal measure. 

She hadn’t realized she knew so little, but Lena Luthor is a fast learner. 

Now when she has an idea that might save the world or break it, she doesn’t hide it or seclude herself in her lab. Instead, she shares it with Alex and talks about the science. Not as good or bad, but as an exploration of humanity and what it’s capable of. And Alex doesn’t ask her to be careful or what her intentions are. Her belief in Lena’s goodness isn’t something that waivers. 

It opens Lena’s heart and mind. Allows her to trust herself in new ways. Quiets the voices that sound like the lie of Lillian’s love and the danger of Lex’s.

It’s revelatory. She didn’t know that before. She understands it now. 

The first lessons were difficult. 

She and Alex were friends, but not friends as Lena understood them. Friends wanted something. Always. There was an inherent timing to their displays of affection. They trickled in like raindrops on a blistering day, refreshing and replenishing. Soon after, each drip came with a request. For objects. For access. For whatever being close to Lena would allow. 

When Lena was younger, before the more delicate parts of herself began to burrow deeper, when she still believed in the best intentions of others, she collected that rainwater like treasure. It was easy to give. She had more than enough. So she gave. And she gave. And she gave. 

Then the brother who was her hero became everyone else’s villain, and there was no-one willing to give back. 

So when Alex said, _I have faith in you_ , Lena believed her because, at that moment, their interests were aligned. 

But when Alex said, _I’m not going anywhere_ , Lena started her timer because it’s what everyone says right before they find a reason to leave.

When Alex said, _I’ll protect you_ , Lena believed her because Alex protected everyone. 

But when Alex pushed a strand of hair behind Lena’s ear and said, _I’ll go visit Lex with you_ , Lena laughed bitterly and told her to get out because it was a lie too cruel to swallow.

When Alex came back the next day, Lena took a shaky breath and let her in because no one had ever done that before.

Trust was like building a glorious sandcastle too close to high tide. No matter how many times Lena washed it away, Alex hunkered down and gathered the newly revealed sand within her palms. 

It was a battle between what Lena wanted and what she thought she deserved. Between all that Alex offered and the vicious voices that whispered accusations in Lena’s ear. Over the years, she’d silenced them through sheer force of will, but Alex stirred the whispers into grumbles, into shouts, into screeches so loud, it’s all Lena’s heart could hear. 

Something had to give, had to break fully so that healthy healing could begin. Not the kind that left the bacteria of old lies and hurts to fester, but the kind that left bones stronger for the struggles of knitting themselves back together.

It happened in those invisible hours right before morning washes away the night.

Exhausted from surviving a battle instead of winning it - a battle that ravaged the life from those who didn’t have the buffer of powers to save them and drained Kara so thoroughly, those who remained could only kneel bent and broken by her side - Alex slid down against the wall outside Kara’s sunroom, her tactical suit mangled with the blood of ghosts. 

And Lena? Lena was furious. Furious like she’d never been before. Her eyes strained with hot tears that screamed for release. This was her fault. Alex made the wrong choice. So many dead. Kara nearly there. Lena used to question why no one ever chose her. Now she knew. The consequences were barren of worth. 

Lena’s rage exploded into the sterile corridor. Rushed like a violent wave against the tiled floor. She was ashamed of herself for it, but her control had fractured into particles too small for her grasp. 

Alex, covered in the still-unfolding tragedies of the night, withstood the onslaught. She held steady against the torrent until a ripple was all that remained. Into that flickering calm, she extended her hand.

They’d just saved the world, but Lena knows now, this was the bravest thing she’d ever done. It only took a few steps to drop to her knees, to place Alex’s palm against her cheek, to bring Alex’s hand to her lips and kiss her fingers over and over and over again until she was kissing her own tears. 

She gave in. Finally. Completely. She allowed herself to be loved this deeply and to love as deeply in return. 

They hadn’t even kissed properly yet, but in those moments before a new day broke, Lena knew. Alex was it for her. She was it for Alex. 

It’s years later now and their first kiss has happened more times than Lena can count. The first in Alex’s office. In Lena’s lab. In a coffee shop. In the back of a DEO van Lena wasn’t supposed to be in.

The official first was at a game night. She’d gone to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine and get Alex a beer. She looked into the living room just as Nia said something that made Alex burst into laughter. The sound was pure and full of joy. It warmed Lena from across the room. 

When Lena made her way back to the couch, she handed Alex her beer and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Lena will never forget the inhale of breath Alex took before her entire body melted against her. It was short and sweet. Perfect. Then Lena winked and they won every game for the rest of the night. 

It’s years later now and they’ve saved the world a few more times since the first, and Alex’s smile still warms her up with a spark that flares from somewhere deep within. Somewhere precious and protected. A place Lena didn’t even know could exist inside of her.

It’s years later and the sun grazing Alex’s bare shoulder is still Lena’s favorite view to wake up to. Alex hates mornings, which was a delightful surprise. Neither of them believes in days off, but now Director Danvers allows herself to sleep in on Sunday mornings until Lena kisses her awake and Lena works on her laptop in bed until the sun hits Alex’s shoulder at just the right angle for that kiss. 

Alex always stirs awake with a stretch and a hum like she’s being pulled from a delicious dream. Lena always follows the shoulder kiss with kisses up her neck, along her jaw, and across her cheek until she gets to Alex’s lips. 

This moment is a haven from a world that wants all they have to give. A world of heroes and villains and love and loss. This moment is never rushed. It’s a beautiful dream Lena hadn’t even know to wish for. 

It’s a happy ending that feels like a beginning. So on Sunday mornings, after they’ve kissed and Alex reaches over with a sleepy smile and slides Lena’s hair behind her ear, Lena’s gratitude is boundless. 

_Hey_ , she says. 

_Hey_ , Alex says back. 

Then Alex slides impossibly closer and tucks herself against Lena’s side and leans her head on Lena’s shoulder. _Finish your work, then you’re making me breakfast_.

Lena picks her laptop back up and does just that, typing with her left hand and rubbing Alex’s shoulder with her right, but it was a long night, so when Alex falls back asleep, it makes Lena happy. She needs the rest. 

Lena switches gears and starts researching something new. Alex mentioned a craving for french toast a few days ago. Lena’s learned to cook over the years because Alex loves to eat and she’s discovered that food science can be just as challenging as engineering. 

Perhaps she can reinvent french toast by the time Alex wakes up. 

Perhaps this is the life she deserved all along - where the delicate parts of herself, no longer hiding under years of pain, get to shine in the sunlight. 

Lena Luthor deserves to be happy. 

It’s the discovery of a lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are love. 
> 
> If you want to see more one-shots in this little universe, drop me a prompt in the comments. I make no promises, but if a prompt gets me in my feelings, I'll probably write it.


End file.
